


The Road to Here

by f_romanoff_13



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Budapest, First Meeting, Friendship, Gen, Injury, Origin Story, Origins, Red Room, SHIELD, back story, mission, partners
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-04 13:25:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/f_romanoff_13/pseuds/f_romanoff_13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day Clint was assigned a mission; 'Terminate the Black Widow'<br/>He was sent to Budapest to locate and kill her, but when he sees Natalia Romanova; he can't do it.</p><p>He brings her in, she defects but she soon starts having side affects and SHIELD discovers something they previously didn't know about the red room and their programming. It's a race against time for Clint, but with no one else willing to help, he puts his life on the line to save her </p><p>  <em>*This author is now back at uni, all uncompleted stories are still in progress and i will still be working on them, however it may be a while between updates, sorry!*</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> This story is un beta-ed. All mistakes are my own and I apologise in advance!  
> Characters belong to Marvel
> 
> I know in the comics Natasha is genetically modified and enhanced, and much older than she looks like Steve with the super serum, but I had to ignore that fact to make this story work. I hope you enjoy it anyway!
> 
> As always, comments much appreciated!

When Clint first saw her she was wearing a sleek, long black dress, her long red hair was blowing in the wind and she wore a careful smile, forced into place. She looked so unbelievably small through the scope. It was the first time since joining shield he’d questioned his orders.

“Coulson, that can’t be her surely? She’s still a kid!”

“Focus Barton; do not underestimate her. Target is confirmed” Phil's calm cool reply came through the coms link

Clint groaned a little; she was his target, she barely looked 15. As much as the dress and make up made her look a little older; anyone who wanted to could clearly see through to the child underneath, he was amazed she'd even gotten into the fancy party she strolled round so naturally.  
He watched her as she moved through the crowded room and made contact with her target. 

Clint was supposed to let her make the kill before he carried out the assassination. Her target was someone shield wanted dead as well; might as well make use of her before they killed her.

Three hours later and he saw her slip through a third storey window; no longer wearing the sleek black dress she wore a black cat suit and broke instantly into a run when she hit the ground. Her mission was complete. Now his began...


	2. II

The man Natalia had killed was an important man.  
The moment she fled; she was followed.  
She fought her way through 10 armed men easily and moved on quickly. She tried to lose the others but they pursued her relentlessly, Clint felt the need to help her out a little and fired off a few shots unbeknownst to her.

He caught up with her several hours later, successfully cornering her; the kill shot was his, but he froze.  
Her emerald gaze locked with his as she waited for the end to come. 

Clint ripped his com unit out of his ear when all he could hear was his handler yelling at him to take the shot while he had it.  
It was certainly the closest anyone had ever come to killing her.

He lowered his bow, only slightly, but enough for her to raise a perfectly arched eyebrow at him. He took in her appearance, ready to shoot any moment if she even flinched.

She was breathing heavily, hours of running and fighting caused her lungs to burn. He was fairly certain she’d been shot at least once, and she was covered in growing bruises. Her catsuit was slashed at the waist where someone had caught her with a blade and there was blood running down her face. She looked both physically and emotionally drained. 

Clint realised that she wasn’t fighting back, she wasn’t trying to escape because she was done. She was ready for death, and she welcomed it.

“It doesn’t have to be like this” he told her, slowly and calmly; despite the fact his heart was pounding against his chest

“What do you want from me?” she asked, trying to keep her words steady through her rapid breathing

“I want to help you”

“In exchange for what?”

“Nothing. Just let me help you?” he lowered his bow, slowly, not wanting to startle her

“No one does anything without wanting something in return”

“Maybe you just haven’t met the right people yet”

They stared at each other for a moment before simultaneously snapping into action. He raised his bow and loosed an arrow, taking down the guy to his left attempting to sneak up on them, she fired three rapid shots and floored the group of men approaching from the right. She was out of ammo so she threw herself at the next man; taking him down easily with a sharp kick to the jaw, turning gracefully she wrapped her legs round the nearest mans neck and threw him to the ground; snapping his neck on the way. Clint punched the guy that tried to charge at them from round the corner before shoting another arrow at the guy about to throw a punch at Natalia.  
Three minutes; that how long it took the two of them to take down 13 armed men. They fought together well, watching each others’ backs as well as their own. It was natural and easy, like they'd worked together for years.

Gunfire in the distance told them more men were approaching, she was injured and Clint didn’t doubt Coulson would be coming in after him if he didn’t make contact soon

“Well?” he asked her, as if there had been no break to their conversation

She glanced around her at the bodies scattering the alleyway, one glance down to see her hands dripping red and she nodded; once and firm, her eyes set with determination.


	3. III

Clint fumbled with his com device as they ran, dodging bullets.   
He’d passed her his spare gun and she’d accepted it cautiously.

“No tricks” he promised her “I have your back, do you have mine?”  
She looked at him like it was a trick question; she seemed thoroughly confused that someone was looking out for her, but eventually she nodded

“Names Clint Barton by the way” he smiled at her, receiving another puzzled expression.

He finally got his com unit back in position;

“Coulson?”

“Clint! Oh thank God! Are you okay?”

“Peachy. Listen, I’m going radio silent for a few hours, I’ll contact you with an extraction but there’s a slight change of plan”

“Clint Barton you listen to me, do not trust her. You put an arrow through her throat and get your ass back here”

“I’m sorry sir, I can’t. Try not to have an aneurysm; I’ll be in contact soon. Barton out” 

If Clint had kept the line open he’d have heard a lot of swearing and shouting from his handler, but he was too busy dodging bullets. 

He knew Natalia had his back when she was too busy protecting him to watch her own. She took a bullet to the chest for him and for one horrifying moment, Clint thought it had all been for nothing; she went down with a thud and blood seeped out across the snow

He took out their remaining pursuers with his exploding arrow, ducking as shrapnel flew in their direction. He threw his bow to the ground and ran towards her. He pressed down on her ribs to stem the bleeding and assured her it wasn’t that bad, she knew he was lying though; she could just tell, just like she’d been able to tell he wasn’t lying earlier. 

“You should n-never drop your w-weapon Barton”

“I think not getting shot should be higher on your agenda. Come on, we gotta move”

He helped her stand and kept the pressure on her side, half dragging her forward, he scooped up his bow and carried on. The snow continued to fall, heavier now than before; coating the ground and covering their tracks.   
An hour later he found a suitable place to stay, well suitable may not be the right word; convenient may be more accurate; he was fairly certain Natalia would pass out before long, not to mention they were both freezing.

Clint picked the lock and dragged Natalia inside. Securing the door he found some matches and lit the candles before running to the kitchen to get some water 

“I need to look at that” he told her, ripping up a piece of cloth to act as bandages. His supplied were fairly limited, but they were certainly better than letting her bleed to death

“I’m f-fine”

“You’ve lost a lot of blood and you’re ice cold. We’ll have to move again soon so you can’t pass out; let me look”

She conceded, though Clint got them impression she was normally much more stubborn. He dabbed a damp cloth at the cut in her hairline first, wiping the blood from her face. He noticed the small cut above her right eye caused by the shrapnel earlier and felt a small pang of guilt. Then he moved his attention to the deep laceration on her lower abdomen that extended over her hip; painful, but not fatal. The bullet had broken three of her ribs from the impact and caused her to lose a lot of blood, but thankfully it hadn’t done much internal damage.

“The bullet is lodged in your ribs; I need to get it out. Okay?”  
He waited her permission before even attempting it  
She nodded, the pain and exhaustion were getting to her now  
The dim, flickering light if the candle wasn’t the best to work with, but keeping his hands steady he successfully dug the bullet out and cleaned the wound. It was bleeding so damn much he was worried he wouldn’t be able to stop it

“You need to cauterize it” she whispered “B-before I pass out, I c-can’t lose any more...”

Clint stared at her, it was a pretty drastic suggestion; but he was left with no other options.  
Grabbing a knife from the kitchen and balancing it in the flames, he returned to her side

“This is gonna hurt like hell” he warned her

“I’ve had worse” she told him, deadly serious 

“I found some vodka, I’m gonna clean it up a bit first okay”

She nodded again, staying as still as she could while he cut away the clothing on her stomach  
He counted to three before dousing the wound in vodka. She winced in pain, screwing her eyes tightly shut, but barely making any noise at all. He was impressed; if the situation was reversed he was sure he’d be screaming   
He grabbed the knife and counted to three again before pressing it firmly to her flesh. It burned and she writhed, desperately trying to stop the noises from escaping her mouth but failing somewhat. When Clint was sure it was sufficient he threw the knife to the floor and wrapped the wound in the makeshift cotton bandages. 

“Natalia?” he asked gently, but she had passed out. Exhaustion, pain and blood loss had finally gotten the better of her. 

Clint took off his jacket and placed it gently over the small girl to keep her warm, he sat by the side of the sofa he’d placed her on and re initiated his com link with Coulson;

“Phil?”

“Barton!”

“Listen, I need your help; I’m bringing her in”

“Are you fucking crazy?”

“She saved my life Phil, and she’s injured. She needs my help and I’m going to give her a second chance, like you did for me”

“Fury is going to kill you, and then me”

“Phil, she’s an asset. He’ll thank us one day... You’ll see”

“What’s your plan Barton?”

“You’re on board?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Have a full medical and evacuation team standing by, I’ll give you a heads up when we’re an hour out”

“Roger Barton. Be careful!”

“Always am. Barton out”


	4. IV

Natalia woke suddenly; she was groggy and disorientated but composed herself quickly

“How long was I out?” she asked, trying to stand up too quickly; she winced in pain

“Stay there, a few hours”

“Exactly Barton?” she signed, resigning herself to struggle to sit, allowing Clint a place to perch beside her on the small sofa other than the floor where he’s been sat all evening

“4 or 5. Don’t know for sure”

“We’ve got to move!” fear flashed across her face for just a moment

“It’s okay, I think we got rid of all them goons, they’re not going to send anyone else after us”

“They might not...” the statement put Clint instantly on edge. She sensed his unspoken question and continued;

“They have protocol for something like this. I represent millions of dollars of research, years of training, conditioning and experimentation. They’re not going to let me just walk away...”

The word ‘experimentation’ sent a shiver down Clint’s spine

“Natalia” she grimaced at her name, “That’s your name isn’t it?”

“It’s what they've always called me”

“You don’t like it?” she shrugged, she didn’t know who she was any more

“New name for a new life?” he offered

She looked at him, like a child would look at someone offering them a gift, and nodded; “you pick” she asked him

“Okay, but do something for me first?” 

She frowned deeply now, shifting away from him slightly

“I knew there’d be a catch”

“No, nothing like that, just; tell me about you. Tell me everything there is to know about Natalia Romanova before she disappears forever. I promise I will never ask you anything about your past again, you can lie through your teeth to shield; I don’t care, and I’ll never mention it again. Just tell me?”

Natalia considered that for a moment, in a few moment Natalia Romanova would no longer exist, and she felt she owed him at least that much; he’d risked everything for her.

“I was born in Stalingrad, my parents were loving people who had lost their daughter before me; pneumonia. One day when I was four my father had a disagreement with a man, he was a bad man who wanted something from him. My dad refused and that evening my parents packed up our belongings; we were to leave for a new life in America the following day... They told me it was to keep me safe. They always promised to protect me; no matter what. but they couldn't protect me from him.  
That night they were murdered. Our house was set alight and they perished. I was in the hospital for the next few days; the man who saved me from the fire came and took me away. His name was Ivan Petrovitch; he was the man who had threatened my father and murdered my parents.  
I was enrolled in the Black Widow program. I was beaten and tortured, forced to do things no child ever should. We were trained in weapons, combat and espionage. Only the best survived. They played with our minds, poking and prodding; taking away what they didn’t want and forcing fake memories in. They broke us down and remade us so many times I started to forget who I was. Each day was a fight for survival; a trial. If you didn’t make it through you were terminated. I was forced to do my first kill at 11, she was a girl of 8 who had failed in her training, she was subpar and deemed worthless. She was my friend and I was forced to shoot her, if I didn't I would be killed too. Ivan was my mentor throughout my training, I was always a favourite of his and he paid me special attention. I was successful, and completed my first mission at 13. That brings me to now; the Red Room assigns me missions, I complete them with no questions asked, asking questions get you killed”

It was certainly a lot more than he got from the shield file on her; ‘ _Child assassin, ties to red room programme, extremely dangerous_

“How long have you felt this way?”

“Like what?”

“Like you want to die?”

“Since I was four years old”

The brutal honesty made Clint pause, how could someone so young have been through so much pain and still be standing?

"How old are you?" he wondered out loud

"16" she told him quietly, he thought she looked younger. he took a minute to school his features so the pity and anger he felt weren't evident;

“Okay Natasha, let’s go”

“Natasha?”

“Is that okay”

“Yes. Thank you Barton”

“Clint”

“Clint” a small smiled tugged at her mouth, before being replaced with a more serious expression

“Clint, I need you to do something for me?”

“Something else?” he joked, but sensing her tone he nodded in agreement 

“If they succeed, if they find me; don’t let them take me. I’d rather be dead than go back to that place”

“I won’t let them-“

“Clint, promise me, promise me that if it comes down to it you can do it, you can take the shot” she gripped his hand, pleading. It was the first physical contact between them that hadn't been purely out of necessity

“Natasha”

“I need you to promise me Clint, please?”

“Okay, I promise, but there’s no way in hell I’ll let them get that far...”


	5. V

The streets were empty, they made their way through the dark as quickly and silently as they could, relying on the still falling snow to cover their tracks. Natasha had handed Clint his jacket back before they'd left; he wished now he'd been more stubborn and forced her to keep it; her stomach was completely bare where he'd had to cut away the material, and the catsuit wasn't exactly the warmest before it had a huge hole in it.  
They were slower than perhaps they should have been; Natasha was still injured and it had been almost 50 hours since Clint had slept; the cold winter air complicated things further by clawing at their throats and burning their eyes.

Natasha suddenly froze; "Clint" she whispered, he turned and instantly recognised the fear in her eyes. "They're here" she told him, visibly shaking now. It was kind of unnerving for Clint to see; the Black Widow was afraid.  
They had found her.

Clint grabbed her wrist, dragging her away from them, but it was too late; they were surrounded. Natasha glanced round, something caused her to catch her breath, "Ivan" she whispered.  
"I did not believe them when they told me my Natalia had deserted us. Surely not? How could she after everything I have done for her? So I came for myself to see with my own eyes, and I find it to be true! You will be punished for this Natalia, I will make an example of you; no-one will ever dare betray me again"  
"Remember your promise" she whispered to Clint "Take the shot"

Ivan muttered something in Russian that Clint didn't quite catch and Natasha fell to the ground. Clambering over to her he shook her, she was limp and flaccid, her eyes distant and vacant; a trigger word. They were doing it; taking away her control, who she was. He scooped her up in his arms like a child and tried to run, he was not ready to make good on his promise anytime soon.  
They seemed to let him escape, this was a game to them. Rounding a corner he found himself trapped once more, laying Natasha on the ground he gave himself a minute to check her pulse; she looked so lifeless he had to check the trigger word wasn't anything more sinister than he'd first thought. He found a pulse, but it was weak and slower than it should have been. This was it, he was probably going to die fighting for a woman he barely knew, but it seemed like she was the only thing worth fighting for anymore. 

The Russians caught up with them quickly, Ivan smiled eerily at Clint. "Give me back my toy" he growled in his heavily accented English, nothing like Natasha's flawless interpretation of the language.  
"She doesn't belong to you. Not anymore!"  
"You think you're going to stop me taking back my property?"  
"She's a person! Not a thing" Clint shouted, even if he died here, today; he'd make sure Ivan died too. 

Clint managed to take down a large proportion of the men, he smiled a smug grin at the shock on their faces when he used his last exploding arrow.  
He was distracted when he saw one if them approaching Natasha, turning; he took the man down but it left him open; three large men came out of nowhere and wrestled him to the ground, dragging him to his feet he was now weaponless. He internally groaned as the man on his left stamped on his bow; snapping it in two. He was forced forward towards Ivan who held a pistol and wore a satisfied grin on his face, not sparing a second thought for the twenty or so men Clint had just slain.  
This was it, this was the end for him. He glanced over his shoulder, looking at the girl he had failed. 

"Natasha! Remember who you are! They can't control you! Natasha! Natasha! You can do this, you're free now. Fight it! I need you to fight it!" he yelled over and over, sure it wouldn't make a difference but determined to try nevertheless.

Clint turned to face Ivan, he felt nothing but pure hatred for the man, who could do such things to children? The way he had spoken to Natasha made his blood boil; but there was nothing left to be done. It was too late. 

"I'm sorry Natasha" he said, he couldn't keep his promise.  
Ivan raised the pistol to Clints head and six shots sounded; Natasha stood weakly, clutching Clints back up gun. She'd successfully shot each and every one of the men through the head without so much as a glance in their direction, there was just Ivan left standing now.  
With his hands now free Clint tore the pistol from his grip and knocked him unconscious with one swift blow. 

Turning back to Natasha, their gazes locked for one brief moment before she crumpled back to the floor. He ran to her side, again her pulse was present but weakening. To fight than kind of conditioning must have nearly destroyed her, he suspected the control word was the first thing they subjected her to when she was four. 

Clint stood, lifting her with him and turned back to Ivan; intending to end him there and then but he was gone; crawled away like the coward he was. He couldn't control women like he wanted to do he went after little defenseless girls. Clint felt the anger rising up in him again and had to force himself to relax. If he didn't, he'd hunt Ivan down and right now he needed to get Natasha out of the cold.


	6. VI

"Coulson?"

"Clint, where the _hell_ are you? You were supposed to meet evac 2 hours ago!" Clint could hear the worry in his handlers voice

"I know, sorry. Ran into a bit of trouble"

"She turned on you didn't she?! I knew this was a bad idea! You can't trust her Clint"

"She didn't turn on me Phil, she saved me; again... But she's in a bad way; I need to get her to medical asap. There anywhere closer they can meet us?" 

"I'm afraid not Barton"

"Would you say that if it were me that was potentially dying?"

"Clint-"

"I’ll get her there. Make sure they're ready! Barton out"

He sighed, looking Natasha over; he was worried. Her wounds were bad enough but he was concerned overriding the mind control they'd inflicted on her had left her unable to cope, that it had overloaded her. She had also stopped shivering now; which was a bad sign because it was bloody freezing!

It was nearing morning, and Clint was acutely aware he needed to get indoors and lay low for a while. He couldn’t be seen carrying a bleeding and unconscious girl round in the middle of the day; it’d raise far too many questions that he just didn’t have the answers for. He made his way quickly through the town center as the shops began to open, he stole some bread on the way past the bakers and found an old abandoned building which would have to do for now. 

It was cold, there was no running water and nowhere to sit but the hard, damp floor. He lay Natasha down on top of his jacket; there was nothing to do now but wait...

Clint was startled by screaming, he was shocked to realise he’d fallen asleep and it took him a minute to focus his thoughts. The noises were coming from Natasha who still slept on the floor; he was by her side in a moment, trying to wake her but failing. The best he could do for her was hold her close; pressed up against his chest he could feel her hear racing. Eventually she stopped fighting him, the screaming and shouting subsided and she was still. The steady beating of his heart seemed to offer her comfort as she recovered from her nightmare. Clint could only imagine the sort of things she dreamt of... 

A moment later she woke; flinching back away from him. "I'm sorry" she whispered

"Don't be. It's okay"

“You should get some sleep, you must be tired”

“Natasha, don’t you want to talk about-“

“No. We should move soon. Ivan is still out there”

“He has no more men, you really think he’d come after you alone?”

“You don’t know Ivan. He won’t ever stop. For the rest of my life, no matter how long that is; he’ll always be one stop behind me. I’ll never truly be free”

Clint felt guilty now for not shooting Ivan in the face when he’d had the chance. He swore to himself if he was ever given that chance again he wouldn’t mess it up. 

“Get some rest. Then we should move” she instructed, her voice was stronger now

“I’m fine, I slept earlier. Let me change your bandages and then we’ll go”

“You have something to change them with?”

“Not yet. I’ll go to the shop; see what I can steal. See if I can get you a top too, it’s probably not wise to go walking around in the day time like that”

She nodded, but Clint could tell she wasn’t keen on the idea

“I’ll be back soon, don’t leave” he told her gently, hoping she’d listen. They were so close now, close to home. He hoped she’d trust that he’d come back for her.

 

Clint returned 20 minutes later clutching some bandages, a jumper and two cups of coffee. He found the small building empty and initially panicked, before Natasha emerged from her hiding place; taking the coffee she muttered her thanks before sitting back on the floor. 

“This is going to get infected if we’re not careful” he told her, carefully removing the bloodied bandages from her ribs. She sat silently, not acknowledging the pain as he rebandaged her up.

“How’s your head?” he queried, his concern regarding her programming still present in his mind

“It hurts; it feels too full. It's difficult to focus” she told him, watching his face carefully for his reaction

“When we get back to SHIELD medical will have a look at that for you”

“I don’t want-“

“I’ll be there. Noone is going to try to mess with your mind again. Just remember that trust is a two way path”


	7. VII

They could finally see the evac point; the jet was there waiting for them with a full medical team. Coulson had accompanied them to extract his agent; mainly because he was still unsure about the Widow and wanted to watch over his team. 

The two of them ran, exhausted, towards the waiting transportation and just as it seemed they were home free a shot sounded out.

Clint went down with a thud; bleeding heavily from his calf. Natasha spun round to see Ivan glaring at her. He approached slowly, and she attacked.  
She punched and kicked, threw him to the ground and took out as much of her frustration as she was able; still weaponless, she was no longer powerless.  
His skin bruised and his bones broke but he smiled nonetheless; he was going to take back what was his.

He managed to throw her off him and stand, smiling a heinous grin, Clint knew what was coming and tried desperately to get to her.

Once again, Ivan muttered the trigger word intending to take Natasha down, but this time it didn’t work as planned. She stumbled and fell to her knees, but she remained conscious and upright; fighting it the first time had loosened its control over her and she refused to give in. He repeated it, shouting it louder and louder but it did nothing.

“Why do you defy me Natalia? You are MINE and mine alone! You will submit to me or the consequences for you will be dire”

She shook her head, somehow finding the strength to stand; “Вы не правы” ( _you are wrong_ ) she told him defiantly

Ivan held up his gun and aimed it at her; but she didn’t flinch, not once. She was ready for death, she had been for a long time.  
Though it was no longer her first choice; she would leave today with Clint, or she would die; there was no way she would go back there with him.  
Ivan seemed to read this on her face and let his rage show.

“No Natalia! Ты моя! Ты принадлежишь мне!” ( _You are mine! You belong to me!_ )

He moved the gun to aim it at Clint, still on the ground gushing blood  
He didn’t have time to react, the pistol was pointed at his head and the trigger was pulled almost instantaneously and Clint just wasn’t that quick  
Natasha however, was. She took the bullet to her stomach; the opposite side and lower down to where the last one had hit her. Everything seemed to go into slow motion as Clint watched her fall

“Natalia! Нет! Ты тупой глупая девчонка! Ты мог бы что-нибудь! Я бы сделал ты большой, но вместо этого вы бросили все это прочь, наш тяжелый труд, ваше обучение ... Все зря!” ( _No! You stupid stupid girl! You could have been something! I would have made you great but instead you've thrown it all away, our hard work, your training... All for nothing!_ )

If Clint didn’t know any better he’d have though he saw Ivan shed a tear

Ivan started approaching him, yelling; “Look what you did! She was the best, she was mine!” 

He raised the gun once more and pulled the trigger, finding the magazine empty. Clint breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the dozen or so shield agents, stationed only a mile or so south; finally break into action. They’d been sat watching the whole thing play out and finally decided to make a move

Ivan managed to disappear, and Clint pulled himself over to the fallen redhead, praying she wasn’t actually dead

He rolled her over and there was blood everywhere, but her eyes were open and there was the tug of a smile on her lips

“I told you I had your back” she whispered


	8. VIII

Less than a minute later they were surrounded by medical staff and shield officers, all shouting their orders.   
Clint still held Natasha half cradled in his arms; she was losing a lot of blood and was struggling to remain conscious.   
The pain in Clint’s leg was forgotten as all his attention was placed on her.

Someone grabbed him and dragged him a few feet away; treating his wounds and Coulson was by his side asking him questions. He assumed they same were being done to Natasha but soon realised it wasn’t, she'd been left bleeding out in the snow;

“Leave me I’m fine! Check her! See to _her_!”

But no one moved; no one but Agent Murphy. Clint had never liked or trusted him, he was arrogant and selfish; traits not suited for a shield agent.  
He raised his gun and aimed it at her. Clint freaked out; “What one earth are you doing?!” 

He pushed away Dr Serenso who was trying to bandage his leg and grabbed Coulson’s gun, he would shoot Murphy before he saw Natasha executed like that

“Why Barton? Just complete the job. Wipe her out, pick up your pay-cheque and everyone can go back to their day jobs” 

“You dare” Clint snarled 

“Has the famous Hawkeye finally been defeated? By none other than a pretty little girl”

“That’s enough Murphy. Lower you weapon” Phil commanded, and as the supervising agent on this mission Murphy was forced to comply.

“Get them on the jet and let’s get back to base”

Clint hobbled, with some help from Coulson, up onto the jet; “I hope you’ll reprimand him for that”  
Natasha was lifted onto the jet on a stretcher, she was coughing up blood now and Clint knew that it was not a good sign. Time was limited.  
The medical technicians only tended to her once Coulson ordered them too; her hands had been cuffed to the bed by now, though there was little point Clint could see; she’d already lost consciousness. 

 

The flight time from Budapest to New York was normally 10 and a half hours, this flight time was cut down slightly by using one of shields fastest jets, but it was still a long and tense flight  
Clint refused to sleep, after Murphy’s reaction he didn’t trust anyone with Natasha.   
Landing back on base the jet was surrounded by some of shields best agents, all armed and taking no chances. Natasha was injected with a sedative (again Clint wondered what the use was, she was still unconscious from blood loss)

“Is there really any need?!” Clint questioned Coulson as he got up to disembark the jet 

“Sorry Clint, Fury’s orders...”

 

Clint was dragged off to an interrogation room as soon as the doctor cleared him. The irony was not lost on him; this wasn’t a debrief, it was a full examination of the mission. They wanted to know every detail; how the Black Widow had manipulated him, what he thought her plan was now she was inside shied, her weaknesses, the best ways to use her against the Red Room... It was all ridiculous and shield had clearly gotten the wrong end of the stick. He’d brought her here to be an asset, an ally; not to be questioned and tortured. She was not their prisoner, she was defecting.

Fury stormed in after 10 hours of questioning, Clint was finally starting to get through to them

“Let me get this straight, I sent you; an assassin, to kill her. And instead you bring her back here like a wounded puppy and expect us to fix her up and set her free?”

“Sort of yeah”

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!”

“She’s an asset sir. She can be useful”

“She can’t be trusted!”

“Yes she can! She saved my life at least three times over the past few days director. Her loyalties do not lie with the Red Room”

“Well if not them then who?”

“Me” he told him, he had never been surer of himself; he’d made the right call. She needed this, he needed this. It was right for the both of them

“We’ll see...” Fury frowned and left, his long coat trailing behind him

“Am I free to leave yet?” he called out after him, but he guessed the answer when the heavy steel door slammed shut.

 

Coulson stood watch over Natasha, Clint had made him promise before he’d been dragged away. He still wasn’t sure, but looking at her so weak and vulnerable, the hospital gown drowning her small figure; she certainly didn’t look much like a deadly assassin. He’d been set to go along with Murphy in the lead up to the extraction; kill her before she could turn on them, but then he’d seen her step in front of a gun to save Clint; he’d seen her willing to sacrifice herself for him, and Coulson did have a soft spot for lost causes...


	9. IX

When Natasha regained consciousness almost 24 hours after she emerged from surgery; there was a strange man wearing an eye patch stood waiting by her bed.  
Her hands and feet were restrained; bound to the hospital bed and she currently had a tube down her throat helping her to breath, leaving her unable to talk. It was uncomfortable to say the least, but by no means the worst situation she'd even woken up to.

“Miss Romanova. You seem to have made quite an impression on Agent Barton. He is young and naive, though I’d hoped he’d see past your fluttering eyelashes and pouting lips; your act must be better than I gave you credit for”

She’d known this would happen, she’d knew Clint was being optimistic when he assured her she’d be welcomed at shield, but being their prisoner still beat anything the Red Room would have in store for her; they’d beat her and starve her; make her suffer, tear her down to build her back up and start all over again until there was nothing left; then they’d kill her to send a message to the others.

“As a safety precaution you will be detained here until Agent Barton convinces me you pose no threat. As well as your binds there is a paralytic drug being fed through your IV so don’t get any ideas about trying to escape”

Natasha rolled her eyes; this was all way over the top. Did no one remember that she had voluntarily come here? Sure, she realised they’d be cautious. They should be, but she was determined to make this work, if not for herself then for Clint. He had risked everything for her and she owed him.

Natasha watched as the man turned and left, there were at least three armed guards outside her door, and she'd wager there were more down the hallway; they really weren't taking any chances

***

“Come on Fury, what else can I tell you? I trust her, she saved my life, she came here voluntarily and she will be useful”

“You royally screwed up here Barton. The council want her dead and you fired, I’m fighting to keep either from happening but currently I’m losing. Just give me something? Why couldn’t you take the shot?”

“It was her eyes”

“What about them?”

“They were asking me to”

“To..?”

“Take the shot. She was done; she knew I was hunting her and she let me corner her, to make it look like a mission gone wrong. She was practically begging for the end. She couldn't go back there... And I couldn't let her”


	10. X

A week later Natasha had been moved to a cell; she was off the paralytic drugs and was permitted to only having her hands cuffed, it was the closest she'd ever had to having her own room.   
Clint came to visit her every evening, always apologizing, bringing her food and the occasional book to pass her time. 

The days were spent informing shield of everything she knew about the Red Room, their procedures, plans, missions and the people involved, she gave them weak points and flaws; any useful information they could use to bring the institution down.   
Once they’d finished on that, she spilled every bit of information she knew on any potential threat to shield or the United States.   
She’d proved her worth and the council had been forced to lift their death warrant; though they still didn’t permit her to work for shield. 

 

One evening during one of Clint’s visits Natasha suddenly went lightheaded. Her vision faded in and out of focus and her words began to slur.

“Tasha? Natasha are you alright?”

She nodded, not wanting to cause a fuss; a quick lie down and she was sure she’d be fine.  
Clint lingered that evening, staying off returning to his bunk to ensure she really was okay, which she wasn’t; she was shivering and sweating. She wasn’t making any sense and seemed to have lost all her energy; barely able to lift her head from her bed.

The shield doctors were called but seemed confused as to the cause

 

“Red Room, it has to be something to do with them!” Clint told Coulson as they watched her rapidly deteriorating 

“But what?”

“I don’t know. They had a trigger word which brought her down instantly; a failsafe incase she ran. What if this is like that? A failsafe; wipe out the traitors and deserters so they can’t use their knowledge against them?”

“It’s certainly plausible”

“It’s the only explanation Coulson! We’ve been sharing foods, she’s not been on any meds and Fury gave me his word this was nothing to do with him. I’ve been through all the security footage, no one has been in or out of that cell since Nat was put in there. This isn't a poisoning or a toxin, it must be something to do with her programming”

“If it is Red Room, then I doubt there’s anything we can do”

“Oh don’t give me that! We’re not just going to sit on our ass’ while she dies! Not after everything I went through to get her here, not after everything she's been through. We need to at least try! Please Phil, I need someone on my side”

“Clint, I’m always on your side, no matter how idiotic you are...”


	11. XI

“Natasha, Nat, can you hear me?”

She sighed and nodded. She was lay on the floor of her cell; not having the energy to pick herself up and climb into bed

“I’m going to Russia, I’m going to find a cure and I’m going to fix you”

“Again?” she slurred. She wasn’t making much sense 

“Tasha I-“

“Kudrin”

“Kudrin?”

Natasha’s eyes met his and they were pleading with him to understand, so she didn’t have to try to explain what she meant, but he didn’t have a clue what she meant.  
Clint stood up and walked over to the door, he was fed up of looking at her through a pane of bullet proof glass

“No one is allowed in Agent Barton”

“Do I look bothered? Move!”

“I’m afraid I-“ the guard stopped talking and listened to something in his comm, nodded and stepped aside.

Clint scooped Natasha from the floor and placed her gently on the bed, passing her a glass of water and watching her intently

“What is it Nat, what do you need me to know?”

“Don’t go” she asked, gripping his hand as tightly as she were able

“I’ll be back soon, I promise. But I need to find out what’s wrong with you”

She laughed slightly; it was odd coming from someone who could be dying... She shook her head and frowned “stay”

“What’s Kudrin?”

“Doctor, he’s red room. Does essperiments. Is not nice”

“He’ll have the answer?”

“He’s dangerous Clint, very very”

“This is part of your programming, to prevent deserters from talking! Did you know? Did you know this would happen?”

She shook her head sadly. “I didn’t know”

“I’m going to fix it Nat, I promise”

“S’ no good. Don’t die”

“I’m not going to die, and neither are you” 

 

“Mission is denied Barton” Fury told him sternly 

“But this is her only chance!”

“I’m sorry Barton, but the council aren’t willing to risk agents on this. Dismissed”

Clint stormed from the room. He could book a flight to Russia, he could do this alone...  
He was already formulating a plan to do this without shield's help when Fury followed him and pulled Clint to one side;  
“You have one week Barton. The council won’t do anything to help her but I watched the footage from Budapest; she’s worth trying to save. Coulson’s going with you and you can take any agents who aren’t currently on assignment who are willing to go; you can’t force anyone though. Be careful who you trust. Jet X9-31 is unlocked and waiting for you. Good luck”

 

Clint realised how few people at shield he actually trusted, he’d asked each and every agent on his very short list who had all turned him down; Natasha was the Black Widow, they still saw her as an enemy, a threat, and none of them were willing to risk their lives to try and save her. The one agent he was counting on was already on assignment in China; Agent Melinda May was the best.   
So it was down to him.

Coulson was readying the jet while Clint checked his weapons; he’d brought along a special treat in the hope he’d run into Ivan again. Fury had told him explicitly and repeatedly that he was allowing them to go to retrieve information about saving Natasha and that was all; they were not to engage in anything even resembling fighting; no revenge, no hero stuff and definitely no killing. They weren’t to make their presence known, this was not official shield business. But if Ivan was there, there was no way Clint wasn’t going to take the shot, not again.

Just as they were ready to leave they heard footsteps as someone else boarded their jet; it was Agent Hill

“What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to help” she told him simply. 

Clint didn’t much like Hill, she was too much a stickler for the rules, but he did trust her. He just didn’t think she’d ever go for it.   
He smiled at her thankfully

“Wheels up” he called from the pilot seat, starting the engine and readying for take off


	12. XII

Two days after arriving in Russia; Clint, Coulson and Hill managed to infiltrate the labs where Kudrin now worked.   
He’d been working for a private science firm for the past six months according to the research they managed to dig up on him, and was now involved in some rather questionable experiments with trying to increase people’s pain thresholds. If successful Kudrin would be insanely rich; selling the secrets to the Russian Army.

They were counting on the fact Kudrin would have at least taken a copy of his work with the red room recruits with him; scientists like him were usually possessive over their work, and it’d be ten times harder trying to get in and out of the red room unseen...

Coulson took watch outside, while Hill and Clint infiltrated in the dead of night; hoping it’d be empty. They’d managed to buy the pass codes off a former employee, and swiftly knocked the guards out.  
It should have been simple. But as with all things in Clint’s life; it wasn’t.

The security system had been updated and the codes no longer valid, so it took them much longer than intended to get through to the labs.   
When they finally made it through the maze of rooms to Kudrin’s lab and started riffling through files Coulson’s voice came in over the comms;  
“I think you’ve got company heading your way. Get out of there”

“One more minute!” Clint said, desperately routing through file after file for something, anything that may help Natasha. He noticed Hill do the same.

But a low hiss of air, and a sudden dizzy feeling and Clint knew he’d failed; _'what sort of legitimate research base used gas because of a security alert?'_ Clint wondered, as he and Hill slumped sleepily to the floor

***

Fury kept a watchful eye over Natalia Romanova, or Natasha Romanoff as she was now known, while Clint was in Russia.   
She was in and out of consciousness, delirious at times, and in a pretty bad state. He’d instructed the guards not to let anyone in her cell, no one at all; he wouldn’t put it past some of his agents to try and complete the mission Barton failed; most still saw her as a threat, but the small, sickly girl had become strangely endeared to Fury, he could see what Clint had seen in her; and there was definitely potential. Still, he kept her hands cuffed to reassure some of the more paranoid members of staff around here.

He was on his way to look in on her when the alarm sounded, Fury cursed, praying he wasn’t wrong to have trusted her; he spoke into his comm device;

“Aspley, is everything okay down there?”

“Everything is fine here sir” came the smooth reply; Aspley was one of the best guards they had, Fury knew he could trust him to not only guard Natasha, but to keep her safe if anyone tried something stupid. Satisfied, he headed to the control room to find out what was happening. Now he wished he hadn’t let Hill go on the mission to Russia... He could really use her here.


	13. XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the erratic updates, for this and all my other fics/series; I'm back on placement for uni and on my first stint in a hospital (scary!) and I also have assignments due!  
> Hope you enjoy the latest updates!

“McCabe, what the hell is going on?” Fury demanded, storming into the main office on the fourth floor of Shield HQ

“We’re not sure Sir, several intruder alarms were all set off simultaneously, and all the security feeds have gone down. I'm not sure whether it's an actual breach or if someone's messing with the system...”

“Damn it!”

“You sure you weren’t wrong about _her_ Sir?” Agent Murphy asked, snarling when he referred to Natasha.   
Murphy was still convinced he should have executed her in Budapest when he’d had the chance to finish the job Barton couldn’t. He’d also tried to convince Fury to change his mind ever since she’d gotten here; even going as far as suggesting they withhold the essential surgery she needed to save her life.   
But those wounds were a result of Natasha saving Clint's life, and Fury had felt he owed her at least the opportunity to convince him to trust her; and he needed her alive if she were to have that chance. 

“You’re jumping to conclusions” McCabe told him wearily, Fury always knew he liked McCabe for a reason!   
Murphy was an ass; everyone knew that, but he was a big, imposing guy who wasn't above bullying and belittling other agents to get what he wanted, McCabe on the other hand was a small nerdy guy who worked on the security desk and was usually incredibly quite, but he still stood up to Murphy where most other wouldn't. 

Fury cut back in before Murphy could retaliate;  
“McCabe; start evacuation of non essential and non combat-ready staff; just in case, and then start getting our security footage back. Murphy; gather a few teams to check the sites where the alarms have been activated, I’m going to go check on a certain Russian...”

***

Clint woke a short while later; he knew he couldn’t have been out long because it was still dark out. Hill was lay beside him; both had had their hands tied behind their backs and all their weapons removed.

"Что ты здесь делаешь?" a man asked from the corner, he was examining Clint’s bow, and it made his skin crawl just to think of someone else touching it

“English?” Clint asked, trying to ignore the headache which was building. He could speak Russian pretty well, but he knew Coulson and Hill didn’t; so on the off chance Phil was still listening, or Hill would wake soon, he thought he’d get it translated sooner rather than later

“What are you doing here?” he repeated in heavily accented English 

“Out for a midnight walk” Clint answered sarcastically

The man scowled, and in the light Clint could see a nasty scar down the left side of his face

“Kudrin?” Clint asked, and the moment of hesitation gave Clint the affirmative answer he was after  
He was a large, strong man; not the typical science type, and had harsh features; he looked mean, and Clint knew enough about him to hate him already. For everything he’d put Natasha through he was going to kill him

“Why are you here, American?” Kudrin asked, saying the last word like it tasted foul in his mouth

“We just needed a little information” Clint said confidently, keeping him talking and the other mans attention firmly placed on him

“Information on..?”

“Natalia Romanova”

The look Kudrin gave Clint in that moment was once of pure shock, laced with intrigue, he obviously remembered the name of the little Russian girl he tortured

“She was such a special child” he spoke fondly “A successful experiment indeed...”

Hearing the man reduce Natasha down to merely something to experiment on made Clint’s blood boil

“What’d you do to her?” he asked angrily, and Kudrin smiled as the archer lost his composure

“Which time? Natalia was a subject in many of my tests, I was fortunate to play with her a lot” 

Hill stirred next to Clint, and the distraction reminded Clint he needed to keep his cool, he needed Kudrin to talk

Clint had managed to free his hands by this point' Kurin may be a genius with no ethical boundaries, but he wasn’t great at tying knots

Kudrin continued, he was clearly enjoying tormenting Clint; “Natalia was a screamer at first; a little frightened girl, the next time she was brought to me she cried and sobbed, but each time after that I broke her down; little by little, until she learnt not to make a sound; because nobody cared”

“I care” Clint whispered, lunging to his feet and slamming the scientist to the floor by his throat;  
“Now tell me what I need to know!”


End file.
